RavenBlack's Friends
Upon this table, ready to serve, my friends.
| Raven | Surnamed Black, this particular corvid is owner of this website and inventor of the famed 'Bastard-gel' (TM). I'm quite a good friend to me, but often desert myself when I really need me. Always willing to lend myself money, I'm not very good at paying it back to myself, and can often be seen frittering it away on things I don't need. For more about me, you could try looking at the rest of my webpage. Idiot. |
| Holly | Hailing from the Gramazioic era, the spiny Holly is an enigmatic creature, with 100 proof blood. One of the very few beings able to defeat a RavenBlack at Scrabble, Spook, Rithmomachia, and quite possibly even Splat, the Holly nevertheless likes to feign innocence and impunity. Programmed in secret, her AIs will soon enslave us all. She has an excellent nose for news. |
| Raven | Surnamed 'Damask', this Raven is America's Most Wanted, a one-legged pundit, a symbiotic dancer, a physical mind, a UNIX guru, and a compulsive tea ceremoner. Not to mention quite ruinous. Very ruinous really. So ruinous that she made me add more to this because she wanted four lines. She has spirit limbs, soulful eyes and ghostly feathers. |
| Anna | Head of the Yakuza, Anna is the small one dressed in white who isn't doing anything, but you know that when she does it's going to be good. She's as pure as the driven snow, and as silent as the lambs. As the firstborn child of Mozilla, Anna regularly helps the mighty beast trample cities, though she's too modest to admit it even to herself. She has three and a half legs, forearms, and a delightfully soft 'A'. |
| Jalen | Jalen is a long, thin, mistress of sexual card games ("But I beat you at Splat - *bounce bounce bounce*"). Her impeccable taste in music (except where bagpipes are concerned, in that she likes them) is excelled only by her owlish talons and talents. And perhaps her semantic prowess. She programs better than Symantec and most students (neither of which is really saying much). She has long legs, fuzzy hair, quirky eyebrows and a beak. |
| Raven | Distinguished by 'Nightshade', Raven is, like me, a corvophile. That is, liking of crows and ravens, not liking of corvettes, nor liking of salad. Unlike me, Raven prefers not to hold a gender, but rather to remain an 'it'. It can often be seen hoarding emails from me, to reply to in a moment of boredom, possibly at the end of time. Perhaps because my emails to it are shiny, or perhaps because they aren't worthy of reply. It has two eyes, a bunch of feathers, two left halves of a face and fluffy legs. |
| Nik | Surnamed 'Borton', he keeps changing stuff and I can't be arsed to keep this description up-to-date at all, so if you want to know, just follow the bloody link. Pfh. Bast, he is. And if I said he had legs, he'd probably change that too. |
| SomaCrow | Somewhat winged, Soma gabbles often in French and poet mimicries. Always reticent with personal information, she nonetheless is the fairly proud owner of several webpages. Well read and well written, she has many pages and several covers. |
| Eperdu | Eperdu is renowned for his general irkedness at all things personish. Hoorah for Eperdu! To quote the man himself; "[I hate] When you tell somebody something and they reply 'I see', before adding '...said the blind man!' as a hilarious and totally unexpected footnote. Such people deserve to have their nostrils scraped with various rusty implements for several hours." Appropriately, he has whole nostrils full of rusty implements, and some legs. |
| Icarus | Most famous for waxing his wings and flying too close to the sun, Icarus enthuses about almost anything, yet still manages to maintain a dark-feeling temperament. He programs, he writes poetry, and, like Nik, he can't leave well enough alone that it's worth me writing a description, because he's a bloody bunt as well. He has hair, probably. |
| Georgia | Also known as 'Jacky', 'Drunken Angel', and 'That Really Crazy Freaky One', Georgia is acclaimed as one who can sometimes beat me at Scrabble, Elementals, and Psychological Ju-Jitsu. Her most impressive talent is her ability to leave scant seconds between saying "I have to go" and being gone. |
| Topaz | Sneakily parading about under a false name, she likes to use the wrong symbols for emphasis, and has, in more recent days, involved me in such misleadings also. She has a fully-featured and Linux compatible face, two legs, and two arms which she uses for immoral purposes. |
| Sorrow | A seemingly quiet and unobtrusive fellow, Sorrow is quite short of names, and also of specifics. Despite my somewhat narrow knowledge base, I feel quite safe to say that he's a good man (And Maximillian should not have done that). A subtle sense of humour, often slipping past unnoticed I suspect, surrounds the man with increasing mystery. On top of all this, he has no features at all. And has disappeared into the aether. |
| Sandy | Surnamed 'Tulloch', he bears no resemblance to a sandy hillock, and is no relation to Sandra Bullock. As far as we know, although there could be a freaky coincidence in the offing. A splendid fellow, and a bearer of a 'Tait-Davis field' medal, after stating his (sad) case. An acquaintance since those very same days of high-school as the man Kevan, and a friend in more recent days, especially Tuesdays. Prime advocate of The Sandman and X-Men, he has two eyes, and an intact face. He has two legs, and not only that, he has two arms as well. Greedy. |
| Kathryn | Surnamed 'Topp', Kathryn is also occasionally Frontt, backk and sidess. She can often be found talking to bacteria in an attempt to make them grow better, or even evolve into a superior species. A dangerously interesting and interested person, Kathryn understands lots of things, and is another friend of 'Other'. She has hair, an undetermined number of eyes (best estimated from an average of two, standard deviation of 1.8), and an IQ. |
| Kevan | A friend, or not a friend, that is the question - whether 'tis nobblier of the spine to suffer the slang and sorrow of egregious poltroons, or by imposing, slam them? Kevan has been a good friend for a long time, apart from the intervening times in which he was a not-so-good not-friend. Some splendid mutual offences there, probably centering around the female of the species. The main word-author of the Random Surrealism Generator, he has all required limbs and such. |
| Other | Surnamed 'people', they are renowned for their stupidity and insolence. Often seen running institutions and countries, they invariably can be detected by their names being different from the names of my friends. They have 12,278,421,392 eyes, 6,339,211,129 faces and 12,277,134,129 legs. Some of them even have arms. The swines. |